There are advantages to living apart from the object of one's affection, primarily when it comes to personal grooming. This is where unkempt comes in, but unkempt in a creative, purposeful way.

Unless groping is scheduled and there is the absolute certainty no one is going to share your bed that night and therefore accidently discover that the drapes do not actually match the carpet, why waste time, effort and money in daily depilating rituals?

In fact, this novel personal insulation method might just save you money, always a bonus in this time of so-called "crisis".

Unless of course you happen to live on a tropical island rather than a humid floating rock slap bang in the middle of the Atlantic, winter inevitably means opaque tights. Under trousers. To keep warm.

I've discovered that the same insulation effect can be achieved with fuzzy pins, but this will require dedication. One razor-free day won't keep you cosy, but your thermal resistance will increase progressively with each day the razor stays put.

So here's how to increase the tog rating of your legs, other body parts are up to you, although I must confess to keeping my pits smooth because a bird's nest down there just offend my sense of aesthetics.

To digress back to the climatic conditions proper to the rock I live on, I did initially think of growing mould rather than body hair to keep warm but the sanitary implications of such an endeavour put me off. I may have wobbly bits, but I don't fancy becoming a human petri dish - mould is the stuff lesser worn clothes clothes grow quietly in the wardrobe, bestowing upon you that unique cellar whiff when you eventually wear them.

So here's to the inner Hairy Mary in each of us, occasional or otherwise... enjoy the winter season and do keep warm, whichever way you choose!