Trying to become an unkempt woman, I decided to have a drink at a dinner party. This would seem like a normal thing to do, and of course it is for most people. Not for me though. The problem is for the last two or three years alcohol does not seem to agree with me. Two glasses of wine and I’m immediately wasted. However ridiculous this may sound, it’s also true. So I had some champagne and two glasses of wine on Friday, which translated into a terrible hangover the following twenty four hours. I think I may be alcohol intolerant, which could be a shortcut to unkemptness. It would be easy for me to take advantage of this vulnerability and pose as some sort of negligent-chic chick. After all, it just takes one dry martini. But wouldn’t this be cheating? It’s sad that my chances of achieving real unkemptness get dimmer by the day. I can’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, and I’m no Tiger Woods. I guess I’m stuck with books and TV.

Tiger Woods really had it coming. 

Lucy Pepper does not know this so I’m hoping you don’t tell her: I have never been unkempt in my life. But now that I’m here – and loving it already – I’m hoping to become just that. You see, I’ve been watching America’s Next Top Model, and there the judges say we are someone on the outside and someone else on the inside. Imagine that! Which would you rather be? Cute and cuddly on the outside and raging mad on the inside or the other way 'round? But how could this be? The show hosted by Tyra Banks is actually such rubbish I cannot begin to describe it, but it gave me this idea: is it really possible to be one thing, not being it at the same time? The thing is: am I an unkempt woman, even if I’m not? And most important: can I become one in the right company?